A piece of ME

Slowly slowly … the faces fade away The memories of yesterday pass away … If only it wasn’t for that day … an old street just an old street reminds me of that day Just an old street with the same green trees … it’s just a different day Nothing has changed … but only me For better or worst might be … Walking along … the memories recalled of another day and another... I remember when I walked away … as I knew I won’t walk it again Since then thing are just the same … just an older than me street Strange isn’t it … how things can remain some time the same I walked away and I know this way … it impossible for me to come again How strong that street can be I can’t face it …. I don’t want, and so I don’t want to walk it again but for some reason I went that way … My father used to say …. You can say so much son … but you can only do less … … maybe one day I can do more than I say ... maybe I can And so I went a head …for some time not for so long … then I look back It all looks so close while it’s yet so far away …. the years has based away just like the face that faded away ... that street saw it all ... all that way Whoever comes back ... comes with pain … from the past they come with pain Walking that street I though I know ... who walked in and out was never their Those trees where ... I found it very difficult to try and understand ... Piece ... here and there ... almost every where and from anywhere collected and then thrown away A plate full of honey ... can only give you honey ... a street full of traffic will only hold you back

Feeling Feeling

AA:Every girl fantasizes about finding her Prince Charming. But if that Prince refuses to come...

A girl has to take matters into her own hands...

So enough of the BassNess Story.I am interested to tell my story and my MB....

My MB currently in somewhere..Saja aku tak nak state..Kang di tahu mampus.haahahha

Ok..So masa raya tu kan..My MB wish me selamat hari raya terus i tertido pukul 1 am..Happy punya pasal

Muahaha..Buruk gila perangai macam tu..Mak aku pun excited bila MB ada cakap nak datang Penang if kerja dia

habis awal..ehehhe

Anyway MB memang keep promised dari dia kat SG sampai la kat US dia keep in touch dengan aku..

Even x la setiap 1 jam but we keep updated each other..gila setiap 1 jam..mati la aku..

With him i do feel comfy very much..and safe..

The most memorable memory when he walked me in KL..actually kat changkat je.Yes for others might be

nothing but for me I feel so special.And the tears was about to running down. Satu benda yang aku

tak pernah alami.Sedih tak tentu pasal.hehhe..

Kan..over tau...Hah.then since he in US, ada je masa lapang bila dia free aku free YM je kerja kami..

Muahaa..ada je yang nak di cakap.Terus mak bunga bunga je hati..Pergi kerja pun energetic gitew..

Muaahahah..Padahal cerita tu xde la apa sangat.But the time he spend masa break buzz aku.Make me appreciate.

Then after that..baru aku realized..ala2 discovery channel even my monkey bro cakap

"Apa yg ko discovery,dia nyah ke..Grrr.."

Aku discovered kan.My MB ada sense of humour..Muahaha..Over a year baru aku sedar..Hahaha..Ye la jumpa

pun jarang.Dia pergi sana sini.One thing I do respect about him..Even he is someone,money is not big

problem for him, he is very humble.Satu benda yang aku suka..hehehe

Then bila aku tanya kat En Rudy.."macamana ko tahu aku suka dia ek?"

Terus dia jawab "i know J is special..jgn tanya mcmana i tau ok..nanti i jwb dgn stupiakk answer..lol"

harus aku ketok dia..haahhah

Even masa aku lambat masa jumpa dia..Sebab masa tu jammed, he still acting cool la..Sumpah kalau

orang lain habis aku di carutsss.hehhee..

Kan..memang aku rasa happy la..But as usual i cant be excited too much even mid october dia akan

datang sini katanya.I need to discover wether he is martini straight up or vodka with a twist..

Bare in mind cik AA..heehhe.

In fact i memang suka dia..But I kena ukur diri I..Dia tu Encik Pilot.Baik gila, Gentleman gila..So aku

waras lagi..In fact ada rezeki ada la..Tak de tak perlu nak meroyan tahap gaban kan..Hhehehe

"The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment.

In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess.

Or the spell wears off and two lovers realize they're better off as... well, whatever they are...

But I'll confess. Every once in awhile a girl craves her fairy tale ending.

So sleep tight, kiddies. It seems like AA got her happily ever after.

~Bisou Bisou~

Fade Away

AA :Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday.

As always I'll be spending it giving thanks for the bounty of secrets I've harvested from you this year.

But leave a place for me at your table. I'll be back for just desserts.

Well..It is October..Wohoo..I wish October are much much better that September..

Obviously loads of things happen last month.The bad one was A PERSON that was closed to me is no more longer.

I do admit that was my mistake.However, silent treatment and pretending nothing happen doesnt make

me feel good.

In fact..Bila aku bertanya perlu ke jawab nak tak nak kan.Seolah olah ko buat serupa gua bakar lu

punya Honda woo..Teramat la macam fukkeymeks kan..Hello..Kalau aku buat salah seolah olah besar

kan,bukan ko tak boleh tegur kan.Apa ko ingat aku bebal ke nok.Maybe sometimes I act stupid but I am not ok.

Then perlu ke ko nak bagi tahu sealam at least save me from Tony Romas and watsoever..Ko ingat aku

tak berduit ke nak beli? Kalau aku tak berduit pun aku senyap, berduit pun aku senyap..Sebab aku tahu

aku mampu beli nak makan ke nak sapu makan.In fact not first time, aku pergi Tony Romas.Lain la baru

keluar dari gua kan..

p/s : nampak sangat ko x ikhlas.Thanks God la kan ko x belanja..Kang mak aku terima mayat aku sebab

makan mati tercekik kan..

Kan..Plus masa nak pergi TJR..Aku sanggup tukar date vacation masa birthday aku pergi tarikh lain then bila

confirm..Boleh ko ckap : I thought u celebrate lavishly with your so called amantes.Pukitai sungguh

Aku akui..Perkataan Fukkeymeks tue kinda hardcore.Untuk ko la but for those who knewing me

over 1 year above no one senrtap macam ko kan..In fact aku rasa ye la kot ko orang tua yang agak

beremosi..Terus rasa rasa nak kasi Kotex ke Carefree..Since aku rasa bersalah kan maki ko kan..

So aku minta maaf la. Kan dan buat salah..

Wah..Memang ego ko tinggi kan..AKu ingat ego aku tinggi ala2 KLCC kan.Rupa-rupanya terus ko buat blog

kan..Ala2 follow me on twitter gitew after aku sms minta maaf..

Siap buat paragraph ok.Kelas Ko MARIA..Ko ingat aku ni bebal

ke or bangangnya x reti baca. Doesnt mean high end educations reflected you are brilliant enough, if you

think like arsehole..

Takpe aku x kesah,aku sabar je..Tapi bila aku baca wah melampau kan.Kalau x nak maaf tak perlu la

berblog kan..So x pe la kan..Ingat ingat dah habis rupa rupanya ada juga..Ala2 kesinambungan..

Memang masalah la kalau ko cari pasal dengan anak Asfari ye.

Even aku gu gu ga ga..Jangan ko ingat aku ni tak reti nak tepis semua ye.

Ye aku tahu memang dah xde kemaafan kan.So x perlu la ko nak highlight pasal diri aku kat blog.Sebab

bila aku baca feeling feeling glamer la pula.XIXI..

Apapun aku akan ye..Over time, the memories will fade away so does our existence.

Lu jangan risau..Apa yang ada gua akan delete. In fact kalau terserempak kalau ada jalan yang jauh.

harus aku U turn ke apa ke.Kang ada yang meroyan kan..Aku x hadap pun nak jumpa dah.In fact aku dah try macam macam

nak minta maaf.Takpe.I done my part.Aku x kisah nak hadap kan. Infact aku kenal ko baru 4 bulan..Ala2 probation period.

Tak kisah kenal ke tak kenal aku still bernafas, makan ikut time, tido lambat..So life sama sajorkk

I am willing to let you go as long I am not losing others that I knew more than a year. Yang boleh terima aku bila aku mencaruts, melawak

and etc. Mulut I memang jahat.Untuk orang yang bersopan santun (kepada sesiapa yang rasa dia bersopan jangan la kawan dengan aku)

Kang ada yang serntap.Hheheheh..

So is okey..Anyway Happy October beautiful people..Lagi 2 bulan nak new year..Yea yea..

FABULOUS 24..

Fabulous 24..

I am in stage of fabulous 24.Last saturday 17th September..

Well...I am happy that I am reaching 24..and blessed with great families and friends around me..

(precisely not all).

Before my big days, Fleur made a heartfelt visit..Which i taught she pulling my legs.She coming all

away from Holland to see me..Great right.In fact.I do reserved a table at SKybar Traders.I taught it gonna

be my 2nd visit.Wanted a couch sit that facing direct to KLCC..However I am able to reserved a high table

seat..Grrr...

Mum and dad wish me on 17th mid night..Hahha which makes me so touch..I cant believe I am big girl already

Er with my sized..I am big what..haha..I still believe I am Kiddo..Like my foster Dad Roland Louis told me

No matter how old are you, you still be my baby in the families..Sweet right.

Then my monkey bro..Wish me..Oh my..He never missed my big day..But his big day will be more grand ok.

Masa deepavali..Harus i dapatkan sari dari masjid india sekali dengan gelang kaki chin ching pakai

masa hari jadi dia..haha..Ko mampu?Mesej dia buat aku tergelak ok.Oh my..besides that I received others wishes

via sms,call and FB..

The icing on the cakes.It is my big day.I just want to be with my bitches..Since I was so busy back home

spend more time with families and etc.I dont want to be left out with them.However things doesnt

went well as I planned.

(Good Morning NY this is your wake up call!!)

A few days before my big day, I informed that lets have a drink in Werners. Well as per P and L..We are

working morning, busy and bla3.But for me is ok lets give a try..Being with bitches is great.

Well on 17th September afternoon, I received a call from the bitcha for the wishes (tq again), what

a melancholy Fyra throw a questions would u mind to come tonight..And again the answers was so so.

The bitches do asked me what is my planned..Since my original plan was SKybar-Werners..

And they told me, we are working morning.So i told them is ok.No need to worries next time..

Coz for me, is ok orang tak nak jangan di paksa..Ko sendiri paham la kan where u belong right..Lagi

mau tanya..Am i right..

So i am awake at 4pm..After the dutches Fleur silent her mobile..And dia tido macam orang mati ko tahu tak.

Then she send me sms "Holy fuck, Jesus..U send me sms like someone die!!"

Ok..biba sangat ko tu tido mati ok..Siap aku yang lawa ni pergi North block ketuk rumah dia ok..Like hello

mujur mak tak call 911 ok.Grr..Then she was wait me at pool at 5..I was like..Please dont pull me to pool.

X kuasa i ok..hahaha..

Then at 5.15pm..she was running to me.with a cake..A slice of cake from Secret Recipe.She kissed my

cheek and wished Happy Birthday Hot Stuff..I was like thank you..Thanks for the surprised..Since it was my big day

Fleur asked me to cancel table at SKybar.I was like..Hell no..But fleur was like..Please allow me

to surprised you.OK and Minah belanda ni..Surprised me with a dinner at La Bodega. Infact the staff over there

sang me a birthday Song..OMG..I was like auwww..Mummy i am so happy...

But no so long..I received a sms from Joey to check whether his room is being reserved or not? I was like

guys..Break please.Are u buzzing me for room.Yeah so what makes u want me to approved? Do u reckon the SOP

of the resv? Well please follow the SOP.Even me, i pun ikut channel ye send to HR and etc.

Even Pauline HM pun submit apatah lagi U kan.I bukan nak berlagak..SO after sms bla2..Then I told him why not

check with VKL.Since my mood was like fucked up..Fleur was like trying to cool me down.Come on guys

it is my big day..I just want to have a peaceful night..And It doesnt too long and Joey called me..

Biba kan..So i was like Joey just check at VKL la..then he was crap ntah due i was so damn fucked up..

Ok fine.U deal with the truth fyra...Bithces away and no one of your groupy celebrate your birthday?

Well if others.Di planning ye..Place,people,fucking cakes and candles to blow..I am not asking all of

this..I just want to be with my fucking bitches..But since all of them with fucked up excuse...

So sendiri mau sedar la kan..So i was like fine..I was told Joey enough..And Joey hang up phone might

be he cant stand i am starting swearing..Muahaha..CCB..

So after the dinner we was stop by at Werners and fuck of changkat was heavenly pack..

(Ok since when chnagkat never packed?)Then we was having a drink..Great news fleur quitting alcohol ok

That is very lovely..

And after that 2 of us decide to back home since it is raining..So i was like ok back home and planning

to enjoy a hot tea and my twilight bookand out soon.not now..the night still young ok..In fact from changkat to home i was having a fight with the

bloodsucker taxi driver..Eh ini taxi biasa is not a limo ok.Cant you try not to cheat me.I am malaysian dude.

I am not arabic, or persian or thrash white female.Stop speaking english, aku boleh cakap melayu.Hello

mak melayu nok dont confuse with me face, hair and etc.Make sense ke dari changkat ke bistari RM 25..

Hello is not driving BMW Taxi!!Somemore was like nak naik naik la..Hello like ada satu je ke taxi kat

KL? Even ko je driver terakhir..I rela jalan kaki ok..Dah la bongkak..Biba sangat..

Then I do find one taxi.Ok la price reasonable RM 15 ok la somemore i caught in traffic..ok stop melalut..

Back home.AT 11.20 Afira home with heels, bags,makeup and lying on her couch.Auw..While listening to rain..

Romantic gila..I wish to be under arms of kucing siyam..hahaa..Gila..kan..sudah sudah la berangan.kang ada yang

kapal terbangnya terbabas kan..Vulgar gila imaginasi i ok..Ko mampu?

It wasnt long until Lavi called..I was like picked up or not..So i was like picked up the call..and lavi asked me where

am I?

So i told her i was somewhere..Due i am not mode to answer any calls or talks..And she asking me to heading to Werners.I was like

darla..you are not even confirmed with me..And what is this? Surprised?I do appreciate but thanks

you are too late I am home and I am out soon.So it is not my mistake if i want to change plan.

She was like bitch..This is how you acted la..I drove from Subang to Bukit Bintang and this is how la..Ok fine..Enjoy your day.

I was like watever ..It is not my fault..When I asked to go out no one want to confirmed.So if i changed my plan.

Do i need to inform..Guys I am celsius.Please see me..BE here..Sound desperate right..

Hello..I do have pride la..dah korang tak confirm salah I ke?

Then not to finish yet.Priya coming over trying to comfort me by sending sms.

"y la dey marah dgn kite"..So estate tau Priya..mau aku gelak..

Of coz l marah kan..i nak tukar plan salah I ke? I know I am not belong to all of u..

Priya was like asking me to chill and rilex..In fact she told me..dont spoiled my auspicious day..

I was like fucked it already spoiled..

Swear to god, holyshit..Just because of someone I am changing my holy fucking holidays to end of september..

Otherwise I am stranded in the island ok..Enough..Next year 2012..If I am still alive la kan..

my 25 will be somewhere.By hook or by crook..No matter what.I am so sorry but sometimes.I need to be selfish..

And i was talked to Ichaa and expressed my broken heart.He was comfort me from HK.Uwaaa..My kucing siyam busy...

And it wasnt long.I was cried like a watever thinking of this friendship and etc..Well i stated F..

Friends or Foe..or Fuck..

Azhar was buzz me at FB..it doesnt took me to long to call my monkey bro..Who is always my listener,

gossip partner and etc..Sorry I cant hide my tears..Harus ko tadah ok.hahhaa..

I am feeling better after I telling him the stories..I wish he is next to me now..Uwaaa..I lurve u monkey..

Ok ok and now i am better.

The best is 20th September I was called mama and sang her a birthday song..I lurve u mummy..And guest what Joey was check in

in VKL..Oh yeah.I am the 1 who approved the room.

He was like ..U still serntap?My face expressed 1000words.I was like of coz..No hugs like I always do..Sorry mate I cant even

accept on how all of you acted.Friend? Maybe not anymore..Maybe you just a stranger.We was shake hand..Told you what,

I am not even in the mood to see them.Well You all just make me hate all of you.INDEED..Well Joey was trying to comfort me..I am so sorry but i try not to deal with all of you anymore..

Then after check him in I was like received a sms about mineral water.No mineral water..I was like here we are not provide any mineral water.And he was like reply like this"eh dkat mariot ada tau hokeh"

Purlease la ok..I was in marriot and in Ritz.In fact I do have stay in Ritz Suite before and complimentary upgrade rooms..So with and without

staff rate..So fyra reply like this.."like that stay je in marriott"

you all dont fucking berlagak la ye..Like I never stayed there..U deal with a wrong person..

Before he back home..He was looking for me, even I dont want to see him anymore..

But i went see him and he was like..As usual you take care me..Called me if you want to go out..Maybe u tak keluar dengan kita kot.

FOr first time over the whole fucking relationship, i told him..I would not called you, I know where I am belong to..

Is ok i know how to carry myself.Is Ok..I am fine..I would not called them anymore.Seriously this time

I serntap gila..In fact he was asked Bong to look after me..I was like , now worries if I am felt

down, I know how to wake up back and back to tracked..Guys I am not the one who created this..

But please leave yourself in my place and think.Por Favour I dont want to talk or think about this again..

Before I am ended up this entry..I wish i am gonna have a fabulous 24 with my families and friends around me..

I lurve you guys.

p/s Moral of the stories.next time others birthday..Just ignore je..U have a better life/day if you cut

your routine..cakap je..i kerja pagi.. x larat nak bangun..Diva kena tidur cukup..nanti laki

lari sebab kulit sembap how la..Terus market drop..Laki tinggal I how la..

A birthday can be a red hot weapon of revenge. Or a heartfelt apology.Or sometimes, there's a way to candy coat the fact you're all alone.

But whatever your big day brings, never forget that some years, it's a massacre.

~Bisou Bisou~

Touch of Fyra

Sitting in front of the computer while listening raya song (finding a mood of raya even I am not feel of it)..I have no idea.. Frankly speaking I am not feel to celebrate raya this year. The reason I am back home next week just because to see my parents. The rest of it..It is just fake..Fake ok..I am trying hard to create a mood by physcho myself that this raya will be much more better than before. However it doesn't help at all. I have no idea WHY..??Obviously last night accompany my partners in crime searched jubah for along and he managed to get one. Erk aku still no idea nak ke x nak beli.I was so tired last night .Back from sahur..I maanged to have hot shower and straight jump on my bed....I had fun with them.So i was happy last night....Which i feel i am blessed to get the feelings back. What was happen this week.Yeah this week just pissed me off. However surprisingly this time, I just pretend everything seems good. Even deep down inside my heart. I bet it is worst..Worst ok..I have no idea where to start at.Starting from my workplace, sort of confiscate relationship and so and so. Work, everything is ok.However I am not feel of kind of appreciation. Therefore I am thinking of to start or just shut up and move ahead. I have no idea why I have this kind of this feeling..But everything I feel have a reasons.. Relationship...Do understand it is hard to predict. However I believe "In the prestigious builidng in KL's Elite, Sometimes I'm mistakenly open the door that belong to someone else"...Muahaha..Mau ada yang kena jerit dan di jerit kan..Ok ok.. Another one is empty promised...Ok pantang bagi aku kan..Kalau janji tu tolong la di tepati kan..If you keep give me the stupid promised of coz aku pun marah kan. Like hello you deal with human not a dolls.So I have no idea what to say.Sorry for being vulgar, but next time if something happen to you I WILL NEVER EVER HELP YOU ANYMORE. What you did just hurt me...You just brought back my worst self.. Me versus You...No Limits.. Maybe my mistakes too...I let someone in, and left my self cold outta there. Yet sometimes despite what I want, I may forget the door has too many locks. ~Bisou Bisou~

Dutchess Home Soon..

It was like a year that Fleur left me and fly back to Holland. She is one of my BFF.A slumber and easy going girl.

We met accidentally when I was on my way to Ritz Carlton for tea fair by Ronnefeldt. When Fleur here, few month before she back to Holland we became very closed. We do all things together together,shopping, clubbing and even girl talks moment. Enough of it.The icing on the cake is my favorite gurl will be home soon to see me..Auww.. It is so sweet....

It gonna be a blast month soon for us two..So basically I will see her. But wait guest what. Her brother..Drop dead handsome too. Uh lalala.Till then..

I love my dutchessssss

10 things about me...

There is nothing to be proud out..But who cares this is my blog..Rite.Well most of my sayang know well

about me..Sayang refers to Fatin,Rahmah,Hana,Azhar and rest of them.

Shall we start?

1. Chubby..

MUahaha..No matter how many times i tried hard to diet. I am still losing a few inch but i am still chubby.

Muahha..anyway i doesnt feel bad now.It is better than skinny rite..pegang sana sini tulang.I am represent real size figure okey

2. Shoes..

I do fans loads of shoes..Wah kan sanggup simpan duit semata mata untuk kasut.

3. Bag..

Lagi besar beg tu lagi bagus senang nak sumbat banyak benda...rasa rudy azhar pun lepas kan...

4.Food..

sapa tak suka makan sila berambus dari dunia ini.. ha...

makanan itu sedap! sedap kan makanan?? mcm tuh sekali trill nya aku bila bab makan ni kan.... akui kuat makan dan

x suka membazir..ishh..

5. Mandi

Bila bosan masuk dalam bilik air then berangan..lagi best tutup lampu then cucuh lilin feel romantic

padam semua lampu kan (then buka balik sebab gelap.) terus berus satu badan..kalau keluaq dari toilet x diva sangat saja kan..

6. Ketawa Kuat kuat..

Wah memang aku gelak non cover okey..sapa x suka sila berambus..Boleh...

7.Tidor

Memandangkan kerja aku mencabar sometimes bila cuti aku suka tidur..Wah best ok..Guling guling kat katil

sambil pelok teddy bear dan bantal busuk..

8. Berangan/ Day dream yang melampau..

Bila tunggu orang kan..Aku suka day dream okies..The wildest one espc bila nak sesuatu benda tu kan..

Terus rasa nak lari pergi ATM then tup tup dalam tu ada sejuta you - us - dee..hah kan ko mampu?

9. Online/Google freak.

Bila terdengar satu benda ke apa kan cheq sanggup berjam jam google okeyss..But the best is u r become

more informative and knowlegable "nak anyam ketupat mesti la kena ada proof kan,mana boleh main hentam je"

TECHNOLOGY STATE OF THE ART kaedahnya..tue belom FB,tweeter, Tagged, segala bagai..kalah artis gitew.

10. Gym..

Cukup suka okies..walaupun x kurus2 tapi di akui badan aku firm nok non geleber ok..Ko mampu?

hah kan..especially lari lari model kat treadmill sambil dengar lagu Akon "Angel" feeling macam tengah runway kan..hah Ko boley?

So ...these are 10 things randomly about me..

Anyway till then..